It has not been easy to let go. Moreover, not easy to take that decision that will have a devastating impact on how we see each other again. But I hope, that by this time, your anger and incomprehension have been substituted for understanding.

Despite the short moments, I did enjoy your presence. You are truly funny, cheerful and full of joy! O yeah, and strong as well! Hihi… And the second best solution to eat a burger, brought me something memorable. The innocence of a girl, playing with an iPhone. Cute. Why couldn’t I stop the time, stop its hand from ticking any further? Nevertheless, I felt God’s grace that day. I am thankful, thankful for having you in my life. But now, I can’t be there for you anymore. I can’t be the one anymore who supports you whenever you need me again. You know my reasons, and like stated above, I hope that someday you’ll understand every word of it. I know you can. Dear, don’t think that there will never be someone in the world again that will understand you as much as I did. Coz he’ll be there, just be patient! Don’t be discouraged by the tragedies that happened in the past and present, but look at the bright side of life. I know it’s easier said than done, but believe me, it does work! Can you imagine me laughing right at this very moment? I bet you can’t, but I really am! That is the work of the Holy Spirit, the One who has been working through me to made you laugh.

Anyway, one thing will always amazes me. Your superstition for spookie. Whether in your room, house, on that particular square called Geest, or in your left hand. I’ll always remember the moments that I could make you afraid of your own illusions. But believe me, angels are being take care off by other angels! So, jangan takut2 lagi okay!? One other thing remains. One thing that I will never understand, your “ik weet niet”. Mohon, sesuatu hari, kamu cerita alasan yang sebenarnya.

As for now, I think it is me who has to apologize. Apologize for taking distance from you. Mohon maaf dear, aku sungguh2 minta maaf. Despite everything, I hope to meet you again in a not so far future. But, only if He wants. O yeah, if your “ik weet niet” has taken place for that what I long for, then, you know where to find me… =)

Goodbye lief,

Kokoh

(Previously published on FB, January 28th)