Hmmm… so, that means you did not have the best childhood? I mean.. there were problems with ur parents?

Well, my childhood was also a bit.. well, not so healthy, maybe I can put it like that. I never lived with my dad.. he left my mum b4 I was born.. I didnt know he was my dad till I was 6 yrs old.. and later I lost contact with him in a bad way just cause of money issues. So ya.. not a fairy tale.
Uhh.. about the characteristics u mentioned > I can say that quite a bit fits/fit on me, but then I never fell for any guys as a teenager! nope, never had anything much to do with guys at all! so.. guess that was the opposite.. but since u r ‘psychologically smart’, u will know why I was like that.. and why maybe up till today I got some very deep issues to deal with when it comes to relationships with guys. But it is ok We grow up, we learn.. about ourselves.. and we must try to heal whatever got hurt deep inside in the past.

Good luck, Di2t!
and thx for sharing ^.^
Vivi

YO dit man! Ya, you never know what kind of impact you have made in this brothers live. Just like being an example for others is like planting a seed which can grow to something beautiful in the future.. maybe yeah.. you hoped for a different outcome.. sometimes things can be really complicated, I mean.. some things go further and deeper than the eye can see.. I think you can pray and if you want also fast if you think it a spiritual warfare.. sommige dingen varen niet uit dan door bidden en vasten… om een vloek te verbreken gekregen generatie op generatie.. Some things you can influence and change to the better.. in the end it is the choice of the person whether he want to follow God or to have an other live style.. yeah, in Holland there was a special divorced market right.. what is the number, one of tree marriages come to an end in Holland? A sad number.. as my parents did.. what important is I think in all matters in live… ‘let go all of you worries, stress, feelings and let God take it over’.. you feel a lot better knowing that you live is in Gods hands miskipun apa yang terjadi weetje.. Good luck and also thanks for sharing.

God Bless.. Groetjes JP

@Vivi: I’m no psychologist at all, but I’d like to propose a hypothesis to answer your thoughts. On one hand teenagers need a complement to the emptiness they have, whether emotionally or materially. And on the other hand, they act and defend themselves from the thing that has traumatise them. Ergo, teenagers try to find a balance between this two ends.

Anyway, I agree that we will heal one day. And I should thank you for sharing! Not vice versa. =)

@JP: Thanks for always remembering me of God’s grace! You rock bro!

u r a good writer. n u can showed ur interest in.
i hope that someday i can see u as a pshychologist like u also told me. . . not just an econom.

n teenager also need a balance. they thought that their Parents not care with them. so sometime they make a little mistakes. but someday (like me now) they will understand how Parents make a big contribution to their live and also care of them even they makes a mistakes.

i hope other child have a second chance to change they thought about Parents. like You n Me.

lil response from Vivi again: ya, Dit, I know u r not a psychologist.. but u r emotionally smart.. sensitive.. u observe ur surroundings and learn.. not just from the books but as well from what u experience.. and that is nice u were rite with what u said..
and then to what SUPER said: yep.. I am one of those.. mean.. I used to just be angry at my mum for all the mistakes she has made concerning me and raising me.. but today I am so very proud of her, how she managed everything, how she made me the person I am today.. and I am so greatful for everything she has given me.. especially her never-ending and undescribable love for me. ^.^

wish that all children could be blessed with what I have.. or more
Amen.

@The girl above Da Kiwi who always change names:
I know your situation globally, and I’ll try to correct and supplement your thoughts, because I don’t agree on one thing. You have to make a distinction between the mistakes taken by your parents. First, the contribution you are talking about is a result of them supporting you in a materialistic sense, and therefore, with consciousness(!). They want you to reach the goals of attending good education. And, therefore, they will supply you with the means you need. Like additional lessons; money; laptop etc. Ergo, it consists of the contribution you are talking about. And secondly, the other mistake is done WITHOUT consciousness. It’s the above mentioned “child abuse” written above: “(…) terribly treated and neglected the proper attention by one or both of our parents”.

About second chances. Well, it depends. Parents have a big impact on how you and me become as an adult. Perhaps even bigger than society or religion(!). I am critical for I am academic educated, not being arrogant, and my thoughts about parents stay as long as they don’t realise their impact, and change their behaviour.

@Vivi: you gave the answer of giving parents a second chance mentioned above. Eventually it’s what they have done to raise you. But, it’s even greater if it was only one parent who did all, like your mom. I’m glad to hear that your story has a happy ending. But unfortunately, that does not count for some of us.

To the both of you: thanks for the compliments.

Hey Didit,

You think you failed? But what would have happened if you had done nothing?
You only can hope, that it turns out okay in the future, maybe not your path, but his/her own…

(off topic: I like your blogs so far!)

grjb1

I believe that we as simple humans are capable of doing amazing things, as long as we do it in His name. I’ve tried it man, believe me! Prevent the damage from getting worst. But she just didn’t understood it. An academic year; money and time wasted. And what if I didn’t do anything? Well, I guess I shouldn’t publish that answer…
John, thanks for taking your precious time to read my blogs! And for putting your critical comments too of course.
Btw, you know what you should do? You should apply as an academic referee! =)

GBU my man.

I think you need to be careful and should not generalise too easily. There isn’t really a typical broken-home behavior and what maybe a pattern is actually an complexly interwoven random and specific random behavior. Specific being unique in the sense that divorce impacts on each child differently.
Families that are somewhat altogether, happy and loving can also produce sexually promiscuous children. Parents/family maybe a significant environmental factor that can shape a child’s behaviour but there are many other factors and the cumulative effects of these combined factors is then what you see on the street or in your friends & family.

Be cautious with trying to save or change others. Does that person ask to be saved? I think you can help him become a “better person” but that can only be effective and ethical when that person wants to be better. Change comes from within and it is a learning curve that one has to go through on their own.

Lastly, everybody has a story to write, or as Coelho pointed out a personal legend to fulfill, one must relinguish the past and learn from their history and perhaps not try to dwell on it because living is in the present and the future is as bright as you make it.