She is 17 summers young, gorgeous, sexy and smart. A couple of centimetres taller than me, hands baby soft, and four curbs that drools my mouth. Her body likes a goddess, smooth, and chubby like I want in a girl. Embarrassing moments often pass me by when she crossed my mind. My heart so warm by our mutual love, and I, so convinced that it would never end, never saw it coming. But, then it happened, even several times. Perhaps the most terrifying thing one could experience in a relationship; replacement.

“You were returning back home!”, “We had problems, and you did not support my activities!”. According to her arguments to justify her deeds, and the F-word seems so appropriate for her betrayal. Love and hate, weird isn’t it? So, does leaving her physically give her the justification to replace me? Or because we had internal problem, and I did not support an activity of hers’ will give her approval to do so? All bullshit! If I count all the misery she has done to me, and punish her by doing the same thing by replacing her, then I would be called; a serial cheater. But why would I even want to replace her in the first place, if I am so sure about us? Well, apparently she disagreed and needed a replacement. Or more exactly, replacements. How F**ked up is that?

     On top of this replacement fiasco, she has also insulted me and my friends by asking the question: “Are you sure God has a son?”. I believing in JC as the son of God, was shocked. How impolite, disrespectful and sick! She replacing me was one thing, but insulting the Lord? Have I ever insulted the prophet M in front of her? Of course not! How inappropriate! I don’t want to hurt her, right? And I don’t want to be on the “Black List” for sure!! Alongside with Bush, Jews, Aryaan Hirsi Ali, the Danish government, and Geert Wilders. Does JC ever said that we should revenge? No! On the contrary, He insist(!!) that we should love one another, and whatever might happened, turn them your other cheek. Shocked and disappointed as I was, ended this drowning ship, called a relationship.

Months go by, and I tried to pick up my life again, until a sms read: “I still love you very much, and I still believe in us.” I, so blind sited, believed in this girl. My adoration for her since her birth, her beautiful voice and gorgeous face, made me not even think twice to consider all the misery she has done. So, I said: “Yeah, we should get back together. But only under three conditions.” She agreed, and promised me to do her best. But from this moment of writing, I am not sure of her intentions. There is no sign of her. No sms, no emails, and for sure no phone calls either about her intentions. This unclear, vague, and shitty behaviour of hers makes me furious. She probably don’t care. I don’t know. But as time goes by that I have to wait, the more I need to listen to UNITED and need JC’s guidance to please and calm my heart. So, does she want us back? Or is it just that empty place in her heart that I have to fill? I guess time will tell…

This will be the place where I will exchange my thoughts with those who read them. Comments are of course more than welcome. This blog will contains my daily activities, not like a girly diary though, but the things that I think is important, fun or even bad. I hope this blog will contain positive things. As bad things makes me sad, It seems that it will dominates the good side though. Too bad. As people often are more interested in bad news. Therefor making it even more interesting for readers

As for now, I feel myself kinda relief and a bit exited. Perhaps in this way, I could express my feelings, and stop whining to people I care.

So, this is part 1. I talk you guys later.

With love, Didit